I want to tell you a story. A story that so many women and young girls can relate to. Growing up in an environment where those close to you are usually the ones that hurt you the most. On a subject as sensitive as our hair, when a man in your life tells you your hair looks ugly. The hair God gave you, as if God could create something ugly. When someone as important as your father, someone who is suppose to be the ONE man that makes you feel special and beautiful, tells you that your hair is ugly or looks like Brillo…..it’s hurtful.

I came across a video of Lauren Holley, a young girl very emotional after being criticized by her father for wearing her natural hair.

Lauren Holley is like so many of us who have been told we are ugly by those who are supposed to love us. Society tells us enough that our hair, our skin, our minds aren’t good enough to be valued. We do not need those in our own households or communities to shame us for something we are born with and quite frankly don’t even affect them. We should ask them………How does my hair affect your life?

The men in our communities need to wake up and realize that they are part of the fabric and if they destroy one part of the fabric then the beauty of the garment will be unraveled. It’s our job, men and women of our communities, to preserve the beauty of our culture.

We are black. We are beautiful. We are smart. We are worthy. We are all children of God. And we rock natural beautiful afro-kinky hair.

collage of natural hair collage of natural hair2

Check out Lauren Holley’s¬†emotional reaction to her father criticizing her hair.


What do you think? I’d love to hear your feedback.


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  • kg370morris@yahoo.com'
  • brownt0828@icloud.com'

    Love your hair… Love your skin… You are who God wants you to be…. You have the attributes of our Creator…. Skin like bronze and hair like wool this is something you should be proud of… I love my natural hair… I wouldn’t change it for the world… Society has whitewashed us into believing that hair is not pretty if it’s not Street….. It’s not amazing if it has curls…. You can’t be beautiful if your shades too dark…. But the Bible says you are wonderfully and fearfully made….. In his word God said he made us the head and not the tail… To be blessed in the city and blessed in the field…. The top and not the bottom… How can you not embrace yourself with those kind of biblical attributes…

  • hairsyourblessing@gmail.com'

    Wow! This is an onion! I have a feeling that there are so many layers to this!

    The thing that I feel in my spirit the MOST…
    —-Her father is controlling, condescending, mean spirited, and teeters at being a passive-aggressive abuser in general! That speaks to why her mother didn’t speak up! She (mother) didn’t want to have to deal w/him if she defended their daughter; which means she is weak and pathetic, to allow a man…ANY man to rob her child of self worth! Mother has no self-worth, and probably finds her (superficial) identity in being married to this sad-sack…even though it is and probably has suffocated the life out of the family!
    Next, is the fact (in my opinion) that this young lady is a people – pleaser and probably an over-acheiver; having done all to prove her worth and value to those closest to her. Baby girl. …let it go!! I know that it is easier said than done. …but you MUST! You are young enough to re program your mind and heal your wounded spirit on your own!

    Another thing I surmise from this, is that you aren’t surrounded by enough strong women/girls of color, that build you up! That will help in feeling confident and start the journey to self-love….then feeling your confidence level rise.

    I feel that if you don’t get a handle on this quick-fast-and in -a-hurry … it can swallow you up, BREAK that wounded spirit, and leave you forever feeling insignificant and cut-rate; and sweetie…you are NOT!!!

    You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful, smart, articulate and sincere.

    Sadly…this social media medium of expressing yourself can also turn on you!
    Not everyone out here will support you! Some folks are racists that hide behind screen names that set out to be the terds that they are, which will cut you even deeper. Not all people, and yes, even ppl of color like or embrace natural hair. (It’s unprofessional they say….it’s threatening they say. It denoted radicalism they believe–all sorts of cop-outs)
    So, be prepared for a possible 50% population rebuff!
    Also, my dear….think of all the ways that this video may be used against you! Stating that you wanted to lunge at your father w/ scissors out of frustration. Those are thoughts and feeling that should not be made public for the whole world to see. This can keep you from a job. Could adversely affect a career path! Can give ppl reason to claim that they are in fear around you. You know how this works….The Angry Black Woman Stereotype!

    Feel free to reach out to me! I am natural and have been for 15 years….I am also a pretty successful hairstylist. I can be of support to you and encourage you to be the woman God created you to be!

    You are awesome! You are not your hair! Nothing is wrong w/ your hair! You father lives in a world that has made him hate himself. Your mom is flesh of his flesh….bone of his bone…and you are his seed….so NO! He can’t see the beauty in you b/c of his own self hate!

    –Christy Lopez

  • ranellaflowers@yahoo.com'

    Tell her father 2 stop his ignorance. Those are his genes and if her hair looks like brill then so does his hair. She is a beautiful young lady! She needs me self confidence 2 see herself as beautiful hair and all the total package. Cancer patients don’t have hair and wish they could grow her hair. Be thankful God blessed u with a head full of beautiful locks. Our black men have been brainwashed into believing black women are ugly our skin color and hair texture. This is self hatred. Some Black men hate themselves and the children they created. That’s why black women are the most disrespected women on this earth. Our own race hates us.